A Christmiss Story

"What's the hurry? You haven't finished your wine." His grip on my wrist tightened ever so slightly, and I felt myself tumbling into an abyss as I fell back onto the sofa. I sipped my wine nervously as I felt the eyes of every man in the room boring into me. Could they possibly be so clueless?

"How long have you and Donna been…together?" Jack asked me. The football game on TV was quite forgotten as the guys hung on every word. I decided to have a little fun with them.

"Since I split up with my husband," I replied. "Donna was always there for me. In fact, you might say that she was the reason I ended my marriage." I drained my glass of wine and crossed my legs provocatively. One of the guys was up in a flash, and he returned with the bottle of Chardonnay. I offered him my glass, and the only sound in the room was the announcer on TV bemoaning another fumble by the Detroit Lions. "Who's winning?" I asked the group.

"Dallas," the guys said in unison as I kicked off my flats and curled my legs up under my kilt.

"Oh dear."

"Are you a Lions fan?" Jack asked me.

"No, I just hate the Cowboys. Their stupid cheerleaders are such bimbos." They all stared at me as I drained my glass. "Now, if you boys will excuse me, I'd better go see if the gals need any help putting dinner on the table. Thanks for the wine," I said, making a show of slipping my feet back into my shoes. I felt my kilt swirling around my knees as I spun on my heel and swayed out of the room.

* * *

Mercifully, Donna steered me to a seat between her and one of the brats, and I was able to survive the interminable dinner with a minimum of conversation. I caught Jack staring at me across the table a few times, and each time I turned to Donna and tried to make a little joke to evoke some laughter from her. Eventually, Jack gave up on me, and when we finally polished off the pumpkin pie and bread pudding, I felt like I was ready for another bout of bulimia. But I probably worked off half the calories slaving like a scullery maid in the kitchen with the rest of the women.